It is a dreadful task but it is one of those that must be mastered before the festivities can begin. It is very common for your sweetie to have a friend you can’t stand. Or you have relatives your sweetie considers extraneous, and your mother is making it very clear she expects an old-fashioned wedding; that is, with all her friends on the list. Not to worry: Brides and grooms and their parents have been battling this one out forever, and no marriage has been forestalled by it yet
If you’re running into conflicts, consider who’s paying for it. Because the bride’s parents traditionally paid for the wedding, they usually determined the number of guests and told the groom’s parents how many people they were allowed to invite. Now that couples are as likely as not to be paying for their own weddings, at least in part, they often primarily decide how many people to invite and divide that number between their two families, or by three; the bride’s parents, the groom’s parents, and the couple. If you go traditional and the parents of the bride are footing the bill, then you should take their wishes into account and try to compromise. At a large wedding, a few extra people won’t make a bit of difference. But if your goal is intimacy, stick to your guns no matter what unholy pressures your family unleash, especially if you’re paying. More to come next week on guest lists!